9/1/06, Friday

Can’t believe it’s September.

I passed the zone inspection.  I got racks because of lack of time and top got lockers, which are harder to maintain.

Then the 1st exam, 50 questions, I finished in 15 minutes.

PT- running, sprinting…

Something crazy happened.  Caldero yelled at Philips for sleeping in front of him at the galley, saying each time he did that, he was hurting his kid and just wait to see what will happen next time.  Then a girl laughed at the next table and he made her stand up and yell “I will not laugh at the galley.”

Then we got a lecture.  He said we were all fat and needed to watch what we eat.  We better stay away from the sweets. 

We only got 10 minutes to shower with all 80 girls!

And Doty who messed up during the IT saying she’s been holding her pee in since chow and all the Pos and Chief screamed at her saying she had an attitude problem.  And 2 girls from 342 and Funk were the only ones out of uniform and we all had to IT except them.  So, Caldero made them write letters and call home.  It was awful.

At Head, I learned Buckle and Marbach got set back 2 days for screwing up filling in the bubbles on the SSN part.  Our average was like a 4.1  It’s been maddening.


9/2/06, Saturday

Marching drills.  Flanks.  It’s rather amusing people don’t know their lefts from rights.  Davis expressed her disappointment in us, our test scores.  To pass our PT, we needed to eat right, etc.  Like Errais, whom some call Sweden or Van Diesel because he's from Sweden and huge like Van Diesel.  And Melton said in the galley’s greenbook, he had written everything was good, just needed more vegetables.

More drills at night.  I think I might like to be a stickman.  I was one, then they told me to go back to body.

Had watch from 0000 to 0200.  The lights in 342 had gone on.  Then the temperature/ messenger guy came in twice.  Asked for a McDonald.  Then a PO came in with uniform of the day at 0140.  Holiday routine Sunday.

Got letters from sister and mother, none from friends.

9/3/06, Sunday

Nix is a total bitch!  I used the sponge to wipe to top of the stalls and she was like “you’re not cleaning shi*t!”  I wish I could just shoot her.  I explained that if you use your hands which she insisted upon, then the dust will fly everywhere.  Dust will go into your lungs too as it’s probably less than 0.5 microns and those are the most dangerous type of subsurface particles, the result being asthma and bronchitis.  I didn’t say that.  I figure her pea-sized brain wouldn’t comprehend all that.  Then Southerland came and repeated what she said in a more pleasant tone.  But if using a wet sponge is that bad, then why haven’t we gotten hits?  I’ve been using a wet sponge all this time.  And Nix was like she’s said it 20 times.  But I’m typically cleaning in the shower stall.


Chief Davis went over History and Seamanship.  She spent half an hour explaining what the main deck is. 

9/4/06, Monday

Today’s Labour Day, but we still did dumb things like locker and rack drills.  Learning to tie knots- bowline.  The Navy history computer lesson on the overhead.  Chief Clevinger had some nice looking donuts and root beer.  I miss Rose donuts.

We got to go to the phone center, which is inside NEX.  Neither ‘rent was in but I left a message for once.  Called Carol.  She was happy to hear from me.  Told her about the hick girls here; that they can’t spell right if it saved their lives. Carol didn’t get my letter, but then she hadn’t been home since I left.

Food today was OK.  Hamburger for lunch.  Some turkey thing for dinner and vanilla ice-cream and chocolate cake with white frosting and brown sprinkles.  It tasted dry and old.  There were also cherry and apple pies, which some people liked and others did not.

They said that today would be Ford and Onyika day but I didn’t see either too frequently.  Ford for marching and Onyika before we chowed.  That’s it.  Clevinger took care of us in the morning.  He played “On the Road Again” , the ACDC song and other things I don’t recognize.  He’s pretty fun.  You’d only piss him off if you’re being dumb.  Moy put her hand in her pocket because she was cold and Chief Clevinger made her do jumping jacks to “warm” her up.

Dental appointment tomorrow.  I have it with Blue.  Think we’re supposed to get TB meds on Wednesday.

I’m not too happy.  I think scrubbing the Head is making my hands rough.  I’ve got a scratch near my thumbnail.  And I can’t find my nail clippers or hi-liter though they’re both labeled.


9/5/06, Tuesday

Went to Dental with Blue for paperwork.  They’re taking out all 4!  The assistant said I wouldn’t be allowed to take them home because of the possibility of spreading HIV.  He’s been for 15 years.

Then uniform issues.  It started at 0800 but we got there at 1000.  So, we were told to go to chow with others (who may have gone to testing, etc) then back to uniform issues.  Hamburgers for lunch.  I nearly swallowed the whole thing as I was the last one to be seated and there wasn’t much time.  There was me, Blue, Osterburg, Philips, Hearndon, Jemkins, Carpenter, Jackson, Cenal, Madrid, and C-19.

Onyika found a piece of napkin from the galley in my study guide.  Oops.  He said "get rid of that sh*t".

I think most of the stuff we won’t wear unless we’re sailing away.  Spent the rest of the day stamping.

Then fire drills.  We ran out with blankets over our heads.

Then dinner.  Pasta, fish, peanut butter, bread, oranges…

Then study time with Chief Davis on Seamanship.  A recruit from Sugarland from 343 walked in and Davis started giving him 8 counts because he was starting to laugh. 

I got a 4.8 on my test.  Jackson and Jenkins failed their 1st exam.

Teeth extraction tomorrow with IV sedation.  I’m scared.  This is like my last night alive.  What if my mouth gets “jacked up”?


9/6/06, Wednesday

Went to Tranquility to get TB meds with vitamin B12.  We were told to get refills on 6-1, the day of firefighting training.

Then dental.  The nurse asked how I was feeling and I said “not so good” and tears came out.  She tried making me feel better, saying how impressed with Captain Berry’s work she was and that he was quick.  She hooked me up to the electrode tabs.  Then more waiting.  Then a black assistant came in and was like “talk to me”.  Everyone kept saying the same things over and over again.  He stuck the IV in.  They all said I needed to calm down.  My breathing wasn’t right and my heart rate was too high.  I was like I can’t control my autonomic nervous system and they’re like if you calm down, so will your hear rate.  It had gone up to 230.  They actually said I had a choice; I didn’t have to get it done right then, but if I didn’t, I may not be sedated.  The RDCs would be upset though.  I think they turned on the gas.  The doctor said he had 40 years of practice.  Asked me where I was from.  Asked me to ask the nurse where she was from, that Arcadia had something to do with Association of families, etc.  Think he said he was from Kansas, got his degree in East Virginia… I was panicking so much.  I didn’t know what anyone was saying.  He asked where I went to college, what I got my MS in, that I must be smart, etc.  That as a PS, I’d screw up his paycheck…He could treat me or not, he’d be paid the same.  That the gas would sneak up on me.  It’d just be a few minutes.  And I was worrying I’d be awake; that it wouldn’t work.  But the next moment, someone said to wake up; it was done.

My mouth was open and I felt OK.  Cantu was there, kind of held my arm.  She walked me back.  They gave me 2 gauze packs, meds (Ibuprofen and Hydro something, equivalent of vicadin) and 2 cans of Ensure.  Blue said C-19 was supposed to give me a bag lunch.  I didn’t get anything.  I thought the Ensure was my lunch, not that I drank it.  Everyone was like “what happened?”  That it didn’t matter really as I didn’t talk much anyway.

Then 342 males came in to do rack drills.  The guy with “my bunk” used the top one and was like you’re in my bunk”.  They were also ITd.  The other group came back (341) and Funk told me the same thing.  Apparently they had crappy marching and some guy said BS at the phone center when told they had one minute to talk.

I did the questions in back of the chapters.

Ford and Onyika came in around 1700, saying we needed to go to dinner and Blue explained meals were to be brought to us.  Ford was like that made no sense, we can walk.  Then they looked at our chits (I ripped mine handling it to Ford-oops).  Well, I had to use the Head and Blue said to bring the chit to the galley.  So, I met her there.  We stood between where the RDCs and recruits ate.  Behind me, heard Ford yell at someone to stand at attention.  Then Clevinger yelled at Lamkin asking what was funny, told her to stand up and make something up.  Then a lady finally brought us 2 plastic bags, we ate next to our racks.  4 slices of bread, 4 PBs, 4 strawberry and 2 grape jellies.  Oranges, 2 yogurts.  Yogurt’s actually not that bad.  After I finished Clevinger made an assignment for the LDs and asked why I wasn’t in my rack and Blue came to me when he was at the other end asking whether I would write the essay or not.  Funk came in with “dog tags” to put on our pen/key chain.  Then Onyika came saying what language I knew and that I’d have to take the test when I’m better- it was a critical skill.  Then, we were all told to go to the male compartment.  Clevinger said everyone even when Blue asked “including bed-rest”?  When I got there Onyika was like “what are you doing up- you’re SIQ”?  Sigh.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Blue went around asking people to print their names.  Then, I heard “gear-drift”.  Is she getting me into trouble for having my books on my rack?

Madrid passed her swim test!

I’m writing a letter to my recruiter saying what a f-ing liar he is.


9/10/06, Sunday

I got a sore throat now, with lots of phlegm.  I don’t feel so good.  Feel feverish.  I can’t remember what’s happened over the past 2 days. 

Southerland’s finally got a letter and she cried over it.  She’s also no longer MA.  Funk was temporarily.  Some people who went swimming got street hits.  And they’re saying we could be set back to 1-1.

Yesterday, more marching drills.  Went to the drill hall to practice.  Also, BASICs, which wasn’t too bad considering my mouth is in pain.

Oh yeah.  Also, met with the classified, important for those who want to change their careers or to notify those whose A school location has changed, I think.  Onyika asked again how I was feeling and whether I was wearing gauze.  Only on my right side.  The day before he said he wanted me to take the language exam.  I had a “critical skill”, when I was feeling better.  I’ll never feel good until I get out of here.

There was also a class on Equal Opportunity.  I kept dozing off.  And I was in pain. 

Have watch today from 1200 to 1600.

Yesterday, was tested on Rate and Rank.  I knew everyone’s question but my own.  What does a Warrant Officer-3 wear on his sleeve?  I hate this.  The girls got 13 right.  30 wrong.

Yesterday, Chief said we needed to create a flag to represent ourselves.  Need to come to an agreement with 2 colors.  I feel sick.


9/11/06, Monday

Caldero went ballistic because there was a smudge on the mirror and dust on the wall.  He turned over the trash can and kicked it over etc.  What a madman. 

9/12/06, Tuesday

It’s been another dumb day.  Maybe I’ll fail the next test and they’ll send me home.  I feel like the biggest fool

We weren’t woken up early enough, but a couple of people were ready.  Hence, we were unable to make it to the early straggler chow.

It rained today.  Wore raincoats.  And we PTd after dinner.  I’m miserable.  Ran like for 15 minutes.  I felt so sick.  The short blond haired girl tried to motivate me during the run.    Afterwards, showered, which we say “hygiene”, and then there was mass chaos.  I think I used that word a lot don’t I? 

Screaming and yelling from the RDC because some girl didn’t enter the office properly.  The instructions are posted outside.  It was Strangler.  A girl from Dvi 342, whom I hate because she was the one who took my clothes.  She said it was an accident when she was ironing.  She must have a bad habit of that because yesterday Petty Officer Caldero told us she ironed the wrong utility shirt and put it on and the cuffs went to her elbows because she’s tall and lanky and she took Beaver’s, who is shorter.  Anyway, this time, she got in trouble for stealing cookies.  Ford yelled at her. 

I’m still sick.  There’s a Physical Assessment on Friday.  We are to preferably run 1.5 miles in under 14 minutes.  How am I to do that with phlegm in my throat and what feels like a broken jaw whenever I move?

Everyone’s been hacking.  It’s really sick.  And to make cleaning the Head easier, the girls have been told not to use the sinks to wash their hands.  Instead use hand sanitizer, outside the head.  It’s kind of gross, discouraging people to wash their hands.

I feel as though I’m in a rather hostile environment.  Why did I have to make this dumb decision and be surrounded by a bunch of retards?  The main problem is people talk too much.  It’s annoying.

There was a static today.  A few people failed.  I don’t know if I was one of them. 

It’s 2200 now.  I’m hungry.  I wish we could snack.  No one’s yelled at me at all lately, not since I got my teeth pulled anyway.  PO Onyika did ask like 3 times how I was feeling.  The swollenness has gone down a bit.  I don’t really see it, but the girls say my cheeks/ jaws really yellow, yellow bruises.  One of the girls say it look like my bunkmate beat me up.  She hasn’t but she steps on my feet or legs when she gets off because she’s on top.  Onyika said when I’m feeling better to take a Chinese test because knowing the language is a critical skill to have.  Well it’s been like 5 days since he’s said it and I don’t know where the test will be held.  I don’t want to take it.  What if they deploy me to Communist China?  Yuck. 

Funk was telling me that I can’t get out of my contract.  I could kill the recruiters.  What am I to do now?  I’m now realizing that my life in Arcadia was not half bad.  I wish I could tell Chief that I can’t go on.  This is a hostile environment.  Whatever happened to the Declaration of Independence?  The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?  Still haven’t received any letters.  The contract is 8 years.  So, I’ll be 32 when I get out?  Everyone says everyone is deployed, regardless of your job or status.  The Coast Guard guy I met at HB said he was  Personnel Specialist, but he’s never gone overseas over the past 4 years he’s been on active duty.  Even though the meeting went foul, I’m glad to have met him as knowing that provides some comfort.

No one really knows I’m here.  I think I did tell a few people, but they didn’t really take me seriously.

Course on Seamanship.  I was burning, very uncomfortable.  Phlegm.  People moving around.  Too much exothermic reactions/ heat. 

Naval Fed came over but I didn’t get a packet.  Will have to go to their office.  Kind of suck.  I don’t know why Rogers and Blue and Harris got theirs.  We set them up together.

Jaw still hurt.

I need to study for the PI in 2 days.

This is stupid and pointless.  Why am I here?

9/14/06, Thursday

Well, I passed my PT test!

Onyika was like- on the 11th almost 12th lap “Lin, right behind you!”  That made me run faster.  LOL.  Got 48/65 and 47/65 on the Foreign language proficiency test.  The lady said I could get a $300/ month bonus.  That is soo cool.  Still, they can’t bribe me.  No amount of money is worth enough to be away from Whiskie.

Walking to the test building was scary.  I think I’ve lost my hearing since the surgery.  I could have sworn Chief said it was at 1100.  It was at 0700.  Anyway, I was told to double time back to the ship to have chow after the PT test.  And I wasn’t so sure what direction to go to!  I started running towards a division and I didn’t know how to pass.  Then I asked permission, there wasn’t room to go on the sidewalk and a female PO yelled at me who I was and not to run in the street.  I ran crossing the street after that.  Oops.  More screamings.

Anyway, I went to Chow.  5 minutes later, 341 came in.  I got up, found Yeoman and asked her about when to leave.  She said ‘now’.  It was like 0650.  She filled out an IP for me but didn’t remind me to get a RDC signature.  I got stopped 3 times by the FTT- Pos, Chief, mostly because I wasn’t double-timing, but that’s OK because I Just ate.  I had no idea which entrance to get in from and Osterburg said it’d be upstairs even though it was Room 125.  Should have known better.

Anyway, I got to 125 at 0717.  And I was the only one.  There was listening (by Beijing people) and the reading was the simplified version.  I got done half an hour early I think.  Running back, I didn’t ran into anyone!  I was all sweaty and pretty much missed the whole PI/ DMI!  I was trying not to. 

Then Chow.

Then Naval HIstroy class.  Then everyone was falling asleep like Doty.  I hate her.  She yelled at Holland for tapping the table to get her up.  And yesterday she turned on the shower when I was in my utilities cleaning.  And she laughed, barely apologized.  Then Nixs laughed.  Bitches.

Study and reviewed Naval History.  It was a PP.  Kind of nice.

Then dinner.  I don’t know why people get all giggly and dumb. 

Actually didn’t clean the head afterwards.  Yay.

I hate Southerland.  She said “you’re not supposed to brush your teeth after meals!”  That’s just disgusting.  She’s a crackhead anyway.  What a dummy.  And she says she does 50 pushups but all she does is move her ass up and down. 

Well, bed time at 2000.

Reveille at 0400.  Shooting.  Yikes.  Finally got letters from Carol!  Double yay.  Can’t wait until Sunday. 

9/15/06, Friday

Practicing shooting.  We were up at 0400.  It was very tiring and I felt very sick.  When practicing with the 9mm at the 2nd station, Gorham kept messing up and being yelled at.  The instructor was from Las Vegas.

Then the 3rd Station, I shared the booth with Keys.  The PO got her out because she wasn’t aiming and shooting too fast.

The 12 mm gauge was scary.  It pushed me back!  It was hard putting the safety off with my thumb. 


9/16/06, Saturday

Had watch 1200-1600.  Chief was angry at 342 during drill because people  kept moving around.  And had everyone at parade rest for like 2 hours.


9/17/06, Sunday

Finally I was able to go to Tranquility.  All they gave me was Generic Tylenol, Sudafed, and Halls.  I wish they’d give real Tylenol.  I’m still having phlegm and it says if you have more phlegm to see the doc as it’s a serious condition. 

More study time.  Review.  Pretty boring. 

Restricted Holiday routine today.

0800-1200:  ironing

0800-1000:   hygiene

1000-1200:   letter writing. 

Sucks.  Singing in the shower.  Irritating.

9/20/06, Wednesday

On Monday- 4AM started off shooting with the 9mm pistol.  2nd time around, a woman kept screaming that I wasn’t aiming.  I was looking through the sights.  I think I was holding it wrong though.  So, she told me to stop and took everything away.  Had me at parade rest.  I didn’t want to shoot.  I’m not a natural born killer.  And another PO asked why I wasn’t aiming.  She had told him I was shooting all over the deck and ceiling.  He said He’d give me another chance.  I got a 130, up from 30 out of 340 or something.  It’s dumb.

Then we were told to clean the building.  I got windows.  Bradley made a comment.  I was a tree killer.  I suspect there’s something wrong with his head.

Tuesday was pictures.  There were all kinds of funny poses.  I don’t know why some girls bothered putting make up on.  Kind of irritated.  Lamkin asked if I put any on and why not.  Well, if she can’t tell, obviously I don’t need any!

Wednesday- today the test.  Computerized, full of questions, didn’t expect to be asked.  The average was like a 4.2 only.  Christophe failed.  Not too bad.

There was a 17 minute run.  It’s crazy why anyone would move around for so long.

I miss soo many things.  I miss peanut soup, Oreos from Willy’s Pub, sitting at home watching People’s Court with Whiskie looking in or sleeping.

Today, stamped uniforms and learned to fold dress whites.

342’s been getting a lot of new people.

I’m getting addicted to Raisin Bran and Lucky Charms.  It’s all I can think about..

LT Boreman, I think paid us a visit, asking for feedback.

One thing that bothered me was that Nix said her mother had caught her having sex and is in denial she’s not a virgin.  And she says she’s modeled, but I think she’s ugly as heck.  She looks like a doll- a fake girl- in horror films.  That girl is sick and a slut and bitch.


9/21/06, Thursday

Today’s actually the 5th week.  I haven’t realized.  Got to chow at 5:45 AM but a division was there for 5:50AM.  And I only got 2 minutes to eat.  We were told to leave.

Inoculations- Yellow Fever, Typhoid, and 3rd one.  Why do they ive us shots for diseases that aren’t prevalent here?  And not for the common cold.  We also had to give ourselves the flu one up our nose.  I was very shaky.  Ford came over to ask if I’d pass out.  Other than the initial stings and 2 or 3 throbs of pain afterwards, it was fine.  But others, like Funk, Hawkins, Cortez and Madrid say their arms are sore.  Someone said it was because they’re from Texas. 

Some people like Gordon and Buckle had to get haircuts.  Went to Nex.  I don’t know why we’re not allowed to get postcards.  I can’t fit anything in my drawer, so I didn’t get anything.  Same for Madrid.  We just browsed.  Sniffed the lotions and perfumes.  I don’t know why they have BBW and VS.

Some girls got make-up which they fessed up to and got taken away.  I think it’s a real waste to buy small things, just to throw them away.  Some guy saw a shoe shine kit, which was tiny and Lamkin was like buy that and throw what they gave us away.  It didn’t come with the brushes though I don’t think.

Caldero gave us a talk, saying he was bored and such.  I dozed off while he was talking.  He’s got a hoarse voice from yelling and smoking, I’m sure.  When I see him, I see a 3 yo prone to tantrums.  The kid’s 34. 

Something that irritates me are people who get food they don’t eat.  People get chips just because it’s there and they don’t open it and eat it.  Botts got all this food and ended up eating cookies and PB sandwich and chips- plain junk food.  Why would anyone settle for that?  Same for Thompson, C.  I’d just kill myself.  And yesterday, Carpenter ran hot water in the sink to keep her hands warm and I was like that’s a real waste of water and she said she’s not paying for it.  Precious water.  I nearly died.

Saw Liu at the Galley.  He gave me a thumbs up.  Funk folding roses for Sankey and Sankey giving one to Cantu and Roberts.

Bui, Osterburg’s sick.  Blue got her other 2 pulled.  She got a 4.9 on her test again.  I got a 4.3.  Funk 3.9. 

We got our orders.  Mine says to report to MS on the 30th.  So that doesn’t exactly follow “immediately after boot camp”.  Maybe I’ll get to go home after all.

Got a hurricane warning today around 5PM.  Onyika gave us notes for Damage Control.

He’s married.  18 years with 7 years of experience.  Why would you want to be married just to be away from your spouse most of the time?

500 word essay on discipline.  It’s dumb.  Girls here are dumb. 

Remaining big tasks are the PI in dress whites/ working blues, final PFA, test 3, firefighting wk, battlestations, and gas chamber.

I feel so depressed.

Got a letter from dad 2 days ago.  Saying he was worried, everyone was.  That he’d attend the stupid graduation thing.  I don’t want anyone to go.  It was my own dumb mistake.

Mann got like 5 letters from her bf and 1 from her mother.  The one from her bf was from the Detention Center.  I’m not impressed.  Botts had pictures of herself and her bf.  She wears lots of make-up and had a low cut black top.  It was insane.

I’m depressed.  I wish I could be back.

9/23/06, Saturday

I’m bored and depressed.  Gonzalez showed us how to fold and store everything in our lockers.  Then we integrated.  Drills.  Went through fire fighting stuff from the manual.  Then we were going outside.  Goins told us to wear our coats.  Then someone said it wasn’t raining.  When we got outside, it was drizzling and getting harder, so Onyika told us to go back inside!

Caldero had IT’d some girls.  Terror’s from Death Valley.  Desert people are weird.  Nemec’s from Redlands. 

Philips said he used to deal drugs and he’s from N. CA.  Can’t believe who I’m surrounded by.

Anyway, Caldero was telling the girls to look each other in the eye and emphasizing teamwork and crap and asking one girl where the other’s from. 

Blue asked me for gauze.  Guess Desomma never got around to getting it for her. 

BASICS- I’m so bored…

Chow, hygiene.  Got 20 minutes with the promise we’ll study Sunday and cut our shower time down. 

People asked Caldero for stories and actually start telling what his stories for.  It was annoying.  His stories are dumb.  How can the girls be excited about dumb crap like that?  One was about a woman named Diana he used to like but didn’t remember after he had joined the Navy and how she invited him ‘upstairs’ and he turned it down because he’s a ‘different’ person, that he used to be a ‘thug’.  I think he still is.  Then there was the 7-11 flowers story.  That was dumb too.  The stories were supposed to teach them a lesson.  I don’t get it.  Maybe I’m too intelligent, full of ennui.  Caldero claims to have an ex-wife, a wife and a girlfriend and has 2-1-1 kids with them.  That it was OK as long as you treated them all with respect.  How come he doesn’t respect us?

I hate how girls use a ton of toothpaste to brush their teeth and get the sinks, mirrors, walls, and decks all gross.  I also hate the MA.  How come she’s the only one talking at night, yet telling everyone to shut up during the day?

I was especially tired today since Sankey woke me up around midnight asking if I needed to iron (after I told Holland I didn’t) and if I had done the essay.  Then Southerland does the same.  It’s irritating.

9/24/06, Sunday

5-2 hold

We only get 1 hour to write letters.  Sucks!!

Hawkins cut her hair.  She’s the section leader.  Botts ironed her hair.  It’s pretty crazy.  That’s about all the lame news.

New people in the Head Crew.  It’s like they’re doing it to have an excuse to talk, not that that’s allowed.  It’s really dumb.  They’re trying to make Stangler be part of it too, but at the same time decided to let her get away with the dumb gross things she does like spit in the trash can.

I’m so depressed.  PO Ford wanted to see me, asking why I’m going to dental.  I didn’t make the appointment!  I don’t even want to go.  Apparently, it was in the morning and I’d miss fire fighting.  So Desomma’s going to change it.  Yeomans sure do work hard.

I don’t want to fight fires, breathe CO.  Statics this week.  Caldero said if we could get through this week, the rest of boot camp will be a breeze.  I wish I could believe it.  The girls.  They’re intolerable.  I could just die.  And maybe I will with the amount of uncovered coughing that goes on.  They’re disgusting.  Had watch from 1600-1800.  Not too bad.  Only Clevinger and Ford came in.  First time Clevinger told me to step aside.  That’s because 342 ARPOC/ AROC was practicing for static.  Clevinger tapped my canteen.  I don’t know why.  He’s a bit rambunctious.  He got a haircut that’s way too short.  And Ford said to shut up during my greeting and Clevinger said that means to carry on.  Duh.

I’m so depressed.  I think it’s because now I know the type of people that’s protecting the country.  Tattoo/ piercing promiscuous alcohol. Smoke crazy gunfreaks.  I’m so depressed.  I can’t cry though for some reason.  Maybe it’s because most of the dummies are becoming dumber by the nanosecond.  Imagine that.  I miss Rice.  I miss intellects.  I miss Nate and Matt.  Even Andrew.  I miss Skydive Spaceland and Trent and Steve.  I miss walking in Herman Park.  That’s class.  I’m not sure Rice represents Texas t all.  Apparently Marbah and Nix is from Houston, Marbach- Sugarland really.

But those girls are gross.  Nix especially.  Her mouth is dirty.  Marbach is a somewhat nice and smart girl but totally covered in zits.

I’m so depressed.  I miss graduate students.  I miss my dog.  I miss leisure walking.  I miss McDonald’s apple pies and cheeseburgers.  What have I turned my life into?  At least I know I’m the same person and I don’t do dumb things like smoke and drink.  Just dumb things like signing up for the Navy.  But that won’t happen ever again!!


9/25/06, Monday

Another day in hell…

There were division pictures.  Carpenter nearly fainted.  We got our individual proofs.  Mine sucked.  I didn’t smile and my chin was wrinkly.  Packages were discussed.  I’m just getting the cruisebook.  Pics are ridiculously expensive starting from $100.  Madrid asked why I wasn’t getting the div pic and I just said I didn’t want them and she asked was it because I hated everyone.  Yeah, that’s it.  Why would you want pics of all the girls that argue and you IT for them.

Firefighting class.  Damage Control really with 2 really old films, like from the 60s or something.  Jackson (Andrew) asked what we were having problems with.   Running.  Because he used to be an assistant coach.  He talks like a teacher.  He only stated the obvious.  Breathe right.  Hydrate.  Just trying to help I guess. 

Moy asked if anyone was attending graduation.  And I told her no one really approved.  That I had so much more potential that I didn’t realize until I got here.  And she asked if I was in college.  How old I was and blah.  Funk acted surprised.  It was as though we were having a new conversation.  Why she acted differently this time, I don’t know.  It’s frustrating. 

Why am I in a room full of girls with Tourettes syndrome?  They twitch.  Everyon other word is dirty.  They can’t pass a day without swearing.  It’s depressing.  As though the world is at a loss of decent humankind.

I hate Bannerman and Nelthorpe.  The latter being the one that fell asleep the other day but actually wasn’t asmo.  I hate these people.  Strangler keeps passing gas and laughing about it.  It’s sick.  Why can’t she keep it to herself.

I’m so depressed.

PT’d today.  Ford had on mostly R+ B + rap, but there was some Linkin Park too!  Numb and In the End.

Wish I remember the lyrics.  Couldn’t hear too well with the counting.  

There’s a 20 minute run tomorrow.

I’m so depressed and bored.  I am a fool for agreeing to be here!

Someone, Doty, found a “ring” in the head and told MacMahon.  Apparently, it was a birth control ring and it was sick.  I guess that means they all know where it’s supposed to go.  Am I the only “innocent” one here?  I have no idea what a BC ring is or why anyone would use BC in this environment, knowing you won’t be sexually active.  The idea is appalling.  The OBGYN had asked if I’d like pills.  It’s sick!! Why would I want for my body to go on an unnatural biological cycle?  Don’t fool with Mother Nature.  Another thing I hate here is the overuse of the word “respect”.  Everyone wants it, but I doubt they even know what it means or how to get it.  They think if they could scream and shout “BE QUIET”, they will get it.  It’s appalling.  A shame to the human race.  Everyone says “I respect all of you” but if that were true why do we all hate each other?

I’m so depressed.  This experience has led me to think humans are truly selfish, degrading beings.  That they think only of rewards.  Their actions are false.  So unlike being in Scotland where the locals want to help you out of the kindness of their hearts, not due to awards and they would never accept money or anything.

I miss being with the intellects.  The scholars.  I miss the grad world- never thought I’d say it.  It’s so true that you don’t miss what you have until you leave it all behind.

I’m hoping to get the position with Arcadis.  URS, maybe not now that I know who will be in Houston.  Arcadis, being in Fullerton, wouldn’t be so bad.

I can shoot myself for doing this, being here. 


9/26/06, Tuesday

I’m so depressed.  I’ve never done so much, yet felt so nonchalant and indifferent.  Girls blabbering, telling each other to shut up.  It’s incredibly childish.  Why am I here?

2nd day of firefighting.  Boring.  Fell asleep through the video.  We got done 1 1/2 hour earlier.  Saw a video on the blow up of the USS Cole.

Chief ordered me to go to dental after class.  Went to Straggler chow.  After an hour of waiting, Captain saw me.  When I flossed, the left side of my jaw seemed to lock up.  My jaws don’t seem like my own.  I just can’t get over the fact, my 4 teeth are gone.  I’m so depressed.

Then Captain said my opening seemed average.  And I told him that the dentist wouldn’t do my fillings because it wasn’t wide enough and he said he was just being lazy.  I’d have to reschedule. They had too many patients.  It’s odd.  The Captain seems to have kind eyes.  How come he’s of a higher status but doesn’t demand as much respect as these mere Pos?  I don’t know how to act.

I missed PT and the 20 minute run.

Terror, Vazquez, and Bui were in the house.  Madrid on watch.  Diaz passed her PFA and will probably graduate with her division.  She left today.

Practice PI, with dress whites.  Integrated.  Ford said my square know was too loose and messed it up 2nd time around.  He showed us how to tie it , to make a V along our shirt, what a concept.  That’s how you know where to put your cross.

Gas chamber tomorrow.  I told Hawkins about the Tuskgeegee Institute reports.  And she said her father was exposed to Agent Orange and blah.  I’ve always wanted to die before I turned 35, so here goes.

Southerland was being dumb about how the sponge and green scrubs were corn and green beans and how I lacked imagination and I told her to go eat them.  Who’s the one that lacks imagination now?


9/27/06, Wednesday

I’m so depressed.

I suppose the highlight of the day was the tear gas/ “confidence chamber”.  It’s cruel.  Not as bad as I thought.  I just teared up as I said “Division 341”.  Burning eyes and tongue and mouth, eyes mostly.  I was standing next to Holland and Doty, in back of Adkins.  A lot of people were excited afterwards, telling each other how they felt.  I didn’t cough much but a lot of others did.  People were supposed to spit in the sinks but they kept spitting outside too, which is sick and I can feel the air from their mouths.  Like Varnado and Fauci.  Sick, sick, sick.

Then the PI.  It went OK.  Easy questions.  I just got asked what my job in the Navy would be.  Got lace hit.  I don’t’ know how.  I tied them so tight, my feet went numb. 

Then PT.  I ran hard.  I felt depressed.  Flannigan got hurt.  My left leg aches.  People kept kicking me when marching even though I’m in step.  I’m beginning to know who’s in back of me, just by how they kick.  Like Doty kicks me on the side and grabs me sometimes when she steps on my laces.  Mann and Southerland kicks the bottom of my feet.  I’m so depressed.  Why am I stuck here?  I’m such an idiot.

Interesting that chief stated I didn’t look the same.  I didn’t know if that meant my cheeks are still swollen or if she was used to the swollen and it looks odd it’s gone down?

After dinner, more stamping and folding.  Caldero wasn’t in a terribly good mood.  There had been 3 failures from 342. 

Chief Davis looked at my locker and actually didn’t yell or scream.  I guess my locker’s fine except my dress whites weren’t touching the back because I misunderstood how it should be 1 inch from the knitbag.

That’s it really.  More firefighting tomorrow.  Depressing stuff.


9/28/06, Thursday

I’m tired of these prayers.  Special prayers.  They’re the same things over and over again.  Well, for the past week, it had been Barr’s having a baby, pray for Bott’s grandmother and Funk’s mother.  These days, it’s getting along with one another, helping the NQS and passing the PFA.  And Lord blah blah blah. 

I’m so depressed.  We were to go get the INH but the pharmacy never opened and it was 0730.  So, we had to leave for firefighting.  I’ve been assigned the task of Accessman.  That’s checking to see if the door is hot or cold and opening it.

Blue looked at a sheet she wasn’t supposed to and I glanced at it.  I’m Line Captain!

In Tranquility, some guy was graduating tomorrow and said Battlestations is easy.  The hardest part is lack of sleep.  We’re supposed to come up with some chant and he did PB.  Blue was telling them to shut the f-up and then she was like let’s do that.  It’s so dumb.  I’m tired of the swearing.

Onyika told us some phony story about some guy saying his friend looked like his son.  It was lame.  Everyone laughs at every comment RDCs make, even if it’s mean or just the f-word.  How is that funny?  I’m so confused.  I’m depressed.

Onyika wants to make it to O3.  I guess I should feel pretty good having an MS.  But that’s being an underachiever.  Why am I here?

Tomorrow’s the PFA.  And I can just kill Fauci for putting me on watch from 1800-2000.  She doesn’t follow a pattern, putting people on watch.  It’s completely retarded.  Saba’s never been on watch.  Strickland’s been only once.

I don’t know how much longer I can last here.


9/29/06, Friday

The Watch wasn’t too bad.  Chill factor 1.  Initially gloves were part of the uniform of the day.  Then they got secured.  A man in PT gear came in and I called him a PO but he was the senior chief.  He said I needed to fix my salute and Lamkin touched me.  Yuck.  I hate when she talks and pretends to be helpful.

I passed the PFA.  Hooray.  They said 17 people couldn’t count and I was worried I was among them.  I saw quite a few people get off the track.  Then Ford yelled 2 more minutes for 1 more lap or something so I figured I’d run once more.  I could have sworn Onyika got off the track and they said to get off when the RDCs stop running.  I looked at the time; it was like 12:30.  I heard someone, male, say, “open your eyes Lin.”  Pretty crazy.  Turned out, I ran 13 minutes something.  Madrid got 14 minutes 01 seconds.  Ford called out a whole bunch of people, Lamkin being one of them, but it turned out to be a hoax with the exception of Doty, Southerland and Greer and Hearndon, and Sabas..

Study time which I dozed off too.  It’s boring being taught at the 8th grade leve.  What’s a grad student to do?

Then there was NKO class.  It was dumb.  The module was just a simulation, so I couldn’t really log into the website because I wasn’t registered even thought the simulation said I was.  Then we were shown how to look at our orders but Reservists didn’t show up.  Apparently C-19, Gugino, Desomma and Roberts are all Corpman.  I can see them being good ones. 

Drill time in the male compartment.  Battle stations practice.  It was hard because we weren’t supposed to talk and there are 4 groups with 20 people each.  Then someone started talking about cadences and Onyika said double arm interval and said “What do you want to do Lin?”  I heard someone say pushups, so I said that and Onyika said “doesn’t look like you want to.  I want to do 8 counts Petty Officer”  I was like I didn’t say that.  He starts counting “1,2,3,4,5678- this is the cadence I like!”

Then he got us into quarters, announced Oglesby went to Tranquility and has meningitis.  I wonder what the symptoms are.  How could he have caught it so suddenly?  I thought it was contagious, especially in confined quarters, but PO said it wasn’t.  I think it depends.  If it’s the viral kind, no, but bacteria, yes.  Then Marbach said a prayer, about Lord trying to help.  But how does she know he didn’t give it to him on purpose, what with him goofing off and being the last in line all the time?

342 got ITd for talking when Davis was trying to give us a study session.

The OOD just came in saying compartments off spot with Bott’s legs in the air, that she needed a medical chit.  Pretty silly.


9/30/06, Saturday

We did a practice Battlestations.  1st getting into PT gear.  Then trying to get to battledress in 3 minutes.  We did it in 5 minutes though.  Battledress= all buttons buttoned, socks over pants, no snake eyes.  Right-face.  Run around screaming.  Then getting into groups.  It’s madness.  Ford went over the hits we can get during Battle stations.  Like double-timing inside or walking in transition.

Study-time which I dozed off to.  Onyika had an idea of switching collared leaders for the day, which didn’t really happen.  Just made people excited.

Since people talked in the drill hall, the leaders got ITd and Onyika told everyone to talk and the normal chatterboxes did not.  Blue started yelling “we know who you are” and Sledge yelled at her because Blue talked when she wasn’t supposed to too and Blue was like “You’re wrong if you’re objecting to me” and crap and Lamkin and Bui yelled at each other.  Buckle and Blue yelled at how messed up everyone was.  It was pathetic.  Christophe asked/ yelled me where I was from and what I liked to do.  Osterburg said I should talk to Sabas (as Carrier’s gone).  Sabas said she was getting ASMO Wednesday and she was glad.  She didn’t want to be with these dumb people.

I’m so depressed.


Same thing.  I’m bored.

Ford sat us down saying we shouldn’t be nervous about Battlestations.  Counting laps for PFA was the hardest thing.

People asking stupid questions after Ford said the only thing that could change after Battlestations is getting a NAVY cap.  We were to keep our RECRUIT ones for sentimental value.  People were asking about getting 1 hour phone calls, pizza and talking in the streets.

Monday’s drill.  Tuesday test.  Wednesday Battlestations.  We had to sign this thing saying we’re not to reveal anything from Battlestations.

I don’t know how it got around to Osterberg that I skydive.

All these people are sick- C-19, Cortez, Botts, King, etc.

Hermosillo asked if I had been getting mail.  I said just 1 from my mom.  1 from my dad and 2 from friends.  She said she’d get her mom to write me.  She’s thoughtful.  But we’ll be gone soon!